But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
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i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
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Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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