We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
