What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
