Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
