if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
How does one acquire holy water?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
