also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
