No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
