I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
