i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i just made my gag reflex go away.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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