Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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