Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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