I want to make a zoo with you.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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