Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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