Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
