The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
