Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize