i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
