Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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