So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
