was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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