Are we in a gay sports bar?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
