Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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