i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
