Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize
