Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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