it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize