That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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