Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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