Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize