didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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