my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Randomize
