Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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