All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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