That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
