You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
And then my night got REAL pukey
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
