I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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