I just threw up on my dentist
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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