I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There r osticjed everywhere
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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