i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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