Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
