does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
