the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
