Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
