I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
