Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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