I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
