people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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