note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize