Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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