1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
