Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
