i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
