why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
