Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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