Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I need moral support for this bender
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Randomize
