you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
