Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
