marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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