dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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