Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
