I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
