garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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