I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
