I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
