and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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