we have officially mastered the walk of shame
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
