It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
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I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
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I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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