I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
